1.11.2 Why People Stay with Violent Partners

Most survivors of intimate partner violence adopt strategies to maximize their safety and their children’s safety.

What may appear to bystanders as inaction may actually be a strategy that protects the survivor and their children.

Reasons that survivors stay with their violent partners include:

  1. A fear of retaliation,

  2. A lack of alternative means of economic support,

  3. Concern for their children,

  4. A lack of support from family and friends,

  5. The stigma associated with divorce or living alone,

  6. A fear of losing custody over their children, and

  7. Love and the hope that their partner will change.

Despite these reasons, many survivors do leave their partners permanently. However, it may require multiple attempts over many years.

Two main factors that contribute to a survivor’s decision to permanently leave their partner are a realization that their partner will not change and a recognition that the violence is affecting their children.