1.4 What Advocates Do

The core of advocacy is to listen and believe. The healing power of this is extraordinary.

Survivors do not need to prove that they are suffering to win support; advocates give unconditional support while safeguarding the individual’s right to be treated with respect, whatever the circumstance.

The unfortunate reality is that an advocate may be the only person who believes a survivor without question, comment, or blame, which makes phrases such as ‘I believe you’ and ‘It wasn’t your fault’ that much more powerful.

The rare case when a survivor is dishonest is relatively unimportant. Clearly, the survivor is suffering on some level and has most likely been victimized in some way. In this instance, being deceived is a small price to pay for extending the healing power of unconditional belief that has helped so many survivors.

Another core piece of advocacy is to neither investigate nor judge.

Asking questions so that the account makes sense to you can jeopardize your relationship with the survivor. Leave the investigation to the investigators.

This means no note-taking while the survivor talks about the assault. Keeping your hands free while the survivor is talking is an important way to use body language to communicate to the survivor that you are not ‘taking’ anything (like notes or a report), but rather you are being present as a trusted ally.

Advocates are the only first responders who have no other responsibilities and no pressing agenda.